 Eric Holter CEO My monthly Web Smart newsletters are usually a little more formal than a typical blog post so my Newfangled blog is nice for me to be able to write up shorter, more casual posts. | Eric Holter's Newfangled BlogMy monthly Web Smart newsletters are usually a little more formal than a typical blog post so my Newfangled blog is nice for me to be able to write up shorter, more casual posts.
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How RSS Has Ruined April Fools Day
April 1, 2008 at 10:27 am by Eric| April fools day is always a bit stressful, but in a fun way. I admit I do live in a slight state of fear that someday someone really will be in trouble on April 1st and my calloused incredulity will offend them deeply. Some of my favorite moments have been the stories I've heard, like when Starbucks announced its plans to create the first coffee pipeline to deliver beans directly to stores, not realizing that it was the first of April. But now that's all ruined. With all my RSS feeds, I've been inundated with stories of the best past April Fools Day pranks (my favorite was Disney's 1998 announcement that thy had purchased MIT and would rename the School of Engineering to the School of Imagineering). And on top of these stories come all the blog posts which are themselves April Fools pranks. Like Virgin and Google teaming up to establish a permanent human settlement on Mars. Gmail has also added a special new feature today--the ability to send email to the past, very handy. The problem is April Fools Day really only has one shot to catch you. Once you remember what day it is, all the other attempts will fall flat. And when you start your day reading RSS feeds there's really no possibility of ever getting fooled. Too bad, I enjoyed the occasional gotcha. Like when Mark O'Brien called me as his alter ego Michael Ryan and convinced me he needed a website for his class action suit against Ruth's Chris steak house for passing off dyed antelope meat for their steaks. I bought that one for twenty minutes. He had me give a full Newfangled capabilities presentation to him. (Of course I did manage to convince him that Pakistan had Nuked India, but that wasn't on April Fools day so I won't share the details now.) Then again, maybe it hasn't ruined April Fools. Maybe it's just raised the bar. Maybe we now need to take pranking to the next level. We have to assume everyone is aware of what day it is and go so far that we can prank even the suspecting victim. Hmmmm, I better starting planning for next year now. |
Tags: funny
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The New Rockwell Retro Encabulator
March 27, 2008 at 10:28 am by Eric| "The new principle involved is that instead of the power being generated by the relative motion of capacitors and fluxes, its produced by the modial interaction of magnito reluctance and capacitive deractance. The original machine had a baseplate of prefamulated amualite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two sperving barings run a direct line with the panametric fam." I'm so glad they figured out how to use the six hydrocoptic marsilveins to effectively avoid side fumbling. Phew. |
Tags: funny video
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The Story of Edmund Pixellinili
January 18, 2008 at 10:38 am by EricSince I'm feeling nostalgic I might as well post the back story of Edmund Pixellini. This story was a part of our website way back when (in fact, I retrieved the text and images off of the Way Back Machine). Believe it or not, we received many comments and emails about this story, some people even believed it!
In the summer of 1882, a small band of fortune seekers, led by Edmund Pixellini, set off to the African continent in search of diamonds and adventure. Although they found no diamonds, what they found instead led to an incredible technological breakthrough. 
¶ Edmund Pixellini, a life long treasure-hunter and adventurer, had heard of the fabled diamond deposits to be found in the African interior. By early 1882, he had chartered a ship, hired a crew, and set sail for Point Noirre, Africa. ¶ Trekking deep into the jungle, he and his cohorts searched for months for the diamonds but to no avail. Within days of giving up the search, they unearthed the first find of raw pixels. ¶ These rare stones were so bright and colorful that they seemed to radiate light.
The "pixel," as it was named by its discoverer, weighed so little that the lightest breeze could hold small particles suspended in air for several minutes. ¶ Driven by an entrepreneurial vision equal to adventuresome spirit, Pixellini soon grasped the scientific and technological significance of his discovery. Upon his return, he immediately began to experiment with the unique properties of the pixel and soon the first computer system was born. His success came quickly and easily and, within a decade, a new form of communication was born.
With the discovery of the pixel, a new form of communication was born. By taking advantage of the pixel's natural luminosity and low density, inventors were able to find ways of moving pixels to and from one OSU (opti-screen unit, an early predecessor to the computer) to another. By serving pixels across networks of tubing, an OSU could communicate visual information over considerable distance. Of course, the earliest prototypes where limited in range and very slow, but the potential was clear to all.
¶ The key to controlling the flow of pixels was in air pressure. Too much air current and pixels would get jumbled and misdirected, too little current and they would not reach the intended OSU. Air compressors began with simple bellows fitted with filters and air resistors. Soon "virtual lung" systems would provide much more control and power. The demand for pixels and matrixes which displayed them soared. Newfangled Graphics foresaw this demand and the first industrial pixel foundry went online in 1892.
Newfangled Web Factory uses the latest in web fabrication machinery. Our fabrication process begins with Franklin Trucking and Post teamsters delivering the raw pixels to our pixel foundry. The raw pixels are sorted, then prepared for use by one of our three industrial strength web forges. Our foundry is capable of processing ten truck loads of raw pixels per day! We use only the finest imported pixels, excavated from quarries in Pointe Noire, Congo. From the foundry, it's off to the pixel engraving studio, where our talented young designers and engravers prepare each graphic before it is sent to the HTML assembly line.
¶ The factory assembly line is where our web sites finally come to life. Here you see an average day on our factory floor where experienced HTML craftsmen oversee workmen setting web pages, pixel by pixel, to be assembled into complete web sites. ¶ Of course, before leaving the factory, our inspectors check each page and link for defects to make sure every page meets our high standards for quality and craftsmanship. Defective pages are returned to the foundry where they are melted down for their raw materials. ¶ All our employees enjoy a light 84 hour work week with two generous fifteen minute breaks each day! In addition, they are offered factory housing and convenient shopping at the factory store. We are one big web building community. |
Tags: history themesong pixel
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The Ballad of Edmund Pixellinili
January 18, 2008 at 10:12 am by Eric| Yesterday, I stumbled upon a bit of Newfangled history. Believe it or not Newfangled has a theme song. "The Ballad of Edmund Pixellini" used to be on our site, but it required an understanding of our fictitious history, which we dropped from the site some time ago. But I can't resist the nostalgia so here it is again. |
Tags: history themesong music
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The Museum of Forgotten Art Supplies...
June 25, 2007 at 8:43 am by Eric| I just had to blog this page - The Museum of Forgotten Art Supplies. Proportion Wheel, Presto rub on type, Rubylithe--ahh the good old days. |
Tags: art
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